Everything You Have, You Once Really Wanted

The Christian God is described as both a loving father but also to be revered. Someone in my bible study stated that she couldn’t wrap her mind around this idea. The people who seemed to think it obvious gave their examples – but both were examples of dealing with powerful people who weren’t close enough to be thought of as a father or of dealing with a loving father who happened to be powerful. But even if my father were the President, I would still treat him like my father. He wouldn’t suddenly turn on me and demand a certain level of respectful clothing and demeanor.

I’ve been reading Esther Perel’s book “Mating in Captivity” and the dichotomy we have in our relationships between stability/comfort and excitement/desire. You can’t have both.

It’s similar to our material possessions. I had heard a statement in one of Rob Bell’s podcast episodes, when talking about love, that if you think about your possessions at one point, you had really wanted every one of those items.

It’s human nature to want what you cannot have.

You really have to cultivate the desire again. It’s so much easier to find that desire in new things but you have to realize that once you obtain the new thing, it’ll get old to you too. Until you can learn to appreciate what you have, getting new things won’t solve any of your problems. You’ll just have more stuff that you ignore, while you seek the next new thing.

I think it’s a spectrum of newness and stability. You don’t want to give up the stability of having your possessions when you need them or the comfort of a significant other that you can depend on. But you need newness, excitement and passion too.

To rekindle the romance between your possessions or your spouse, you have to look at the things you have and establish distance between you and what was once so stable. Once you know that you could lose this item, by perhaps others being interested in it and taking it away, it becomes more valuable to you.

I wish we weren’t so simple but we are. Add a little jealousy, a little fear to the mix.

What do you think? Can you still get excitement from stuff you already have?

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