In Tools for Titans, Tim Ferriss interviews the comedienne Whitney Cummings, who mentions that she has a tattoo in white on her arm that reads “I love you” and it reminds her to speak to everyone with that thought in her mind.
In light of, well everything going on in the world really, but particularly Charlottesville, which I consider to be my second home, I hope that we can all try this out in our interactions with others, particularly including those with whom we differ.
I’m a type-A nut job so I am basically mad at everyone all the time. I tried it on my barista when she had forgotten about my order. I was getting peeved and I thought, I love you. And I thought about how much she must have going on, the irate customers she must face everyday, how low-paying the job is, how she was probably trying to do a great job but sometimes people just screw up. And I’ve definitely screwed up before, so who am I to judge?
Sometimes I feel like the laziest or most anxious person in the world but sometimes the thought of going grocery shopping seems like a huge undertaking. (In my defense, I don’t have a car and we’re currently under a monsoon watch.) Ditto going out to eat as a single person. And I’m really not a delivery kind of girl (never got into the habit). So what’s a girl to do but make meals with what she already has in the apartment she never wants to leave?
Thankfully, years of cooking and being single (and being too tired to go to the grocery store) has led me to be quite crafty with my meals. I once went a month without going to the grocery store and actually came out in the negative for grocery spending (I returned some spices I was never going to use). So long as I have eggs, rice and soy sauce, I’m pretty happy. Thankfully it doesn’t have to come to that very often.
Below are meals I can prepare for myself currently with ingredients in my pantry and fridge/freezer with the ingredients listed next to them. I will admit though that I will very soon run out of eggs and coconut milk/milk and greek yogurt, and without those options, the pickings will be much scarcer!
Maybe you can relate. I can typically see through the marketing hoopla of most beauty products. But when I have a pimple, or when I feel badly about my appearance, I could be tempted to buy anything.
It sounds somewhat ridiculous now but I was recently contemplating buying a $500 beauty gadget that zaps electric pulses into your skin and allegedly kills bacteria, sculpts your face and encourages the buildup of beneficial collagen. Or so it says. All because I had a pimple.
Typically I have very good skin. I might have little clogged pores every few weeks but I won’t have a hard cystic pimple a few times a year. And when I do, it’s all I can think about. And I always scour the internet for quick fix solutions, peering into photo after photo of flawless-looking models trying to discern their secrets.
But typically before I fall into a vat of self-loathing, I try to tell myself this one phrase that brings me back to earth. It’s a phrase that keeps me from emptying my checking account every time I get a blemish.
Who told you you were naked?
Let me explain.
I’ve been reading a number of personal finance blogs of late and it’s been a little bit dispiriting actually. I’ve seen many bloggers giving advice on how they worked for a few years and then retired to travel the world. Or how bloggers ruined their reputations or did unethical acts in the name of saving money. And in the end, reading most personal finance blogs, it seems like early retirement is the final end goal. The whole meaning of our life’s work is to travel the world and live like a dilettante.
I’m still drafting a personal finance manifesto but the first tenet is certainly – money is a tool, never the end goal. There should be so much more to your life than money. I honestly think there should be so much more to life than pleasure or happiness. There should be the constant striving to be a better person, to leave the world with more love, joy and happiness, to alleviate pain, to learn new things, to share new ideas, to take risks, to inspire others, and maybe, if we’re lucky, make something lasting.
I was reminded of this when reading the following passage in a book neither about finance nor character.