Frugality – Don’t Stop Can’t Stop

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I have two friends who own successful small businesses. One spent $25,000 on two watches recently but the first time I met him, he was giddily boasting about his $6 t-shirt. The other sold his share in his company for $1.2M and the first time I met him, he was looking for street parking to avoid paying for a lot.

One would think, both of these men being cocky alpha males, that they would have tried to impress me from the get-go with their wealth. But they were flaunting their cheapness when just meeting me and I only learned about their wealth over time. I think they both tried to flaunt their wealth to me later (I did learn about the watches and the selling price of the company after all), but what I initially saw was that these were people who were still interested in saving a few bucks here and there even when it didn’t matter to them.

For a different perspective, I remember a grad student telling a friend and me that when she got her first real job she would get a wardrobe full of designer clothing. My other friend in this conversation is a very successful vice president of a major company and I remember her balking at the cost of designer clothing. $600 for boots? No thank you.

So why am I telling you these anecdotes? Well, I’ve seen posts where people wonder if they’ll have to be “frugal forever.” It seems like people are wondering if they’ll always be miserable clipping coupons or comparing prices. What I learned from these anecdotes is that there is no end to frugality. I’m not saying it’s an endless treadmill of counting pennies, but if you get into certain money-saving habits that work for you, that you develop over years, you don’t turn them off even when you gain wealth. You may not be able to turn them off either. Think of it like a train – you spent all this time getting it going that it’s hard to stop it. You’ve built these habits for life.

For instance, I still look at coupon inserts because I used to clip coupons with my mother. This is a habit I’ve had since I was a little kid. I look for promo codes when I purchase items online. I still cook most of my meals at home. I don’t need to save the dollars here and there anymore, but 1) I’ve gotten quite efficient with how I save money because I know what works and where to look; 2) there’s very little incentive to spend more when I know the cheaper option works; 3) I’ve learned to enjoy the cheaper options; 4)  the high of saving money doesn’t go away; and 5) I just don’t know another way to be.

So if you’re frugal, you are mindful with your money. You have forced yourself to make decisions that resulted in spending more  on things that are meaningful to you and less on stuff that isn’t. If you live that perspective, you probably start to believe that mindset and that’s a hard mindset to break out of. In fact, you probably don’t want to break out of that mindset. You are that mindset now.

So if you’re wondering if you will get to a point in your life when you can finally get rid of your frugal habits, the answer is probably not. Once you develop the habit, you’ve changed something about yourself and your goals. The positives are that it only gets easier to save money because you will find it second nature and you will want to do it. It’s like flexing a muscle. It becomes less awkward and then it just becomes second nature. The negatives (possibly) are that you have fundamentally changed what you value and how you live your life. You may never get that designer wardrobe because you have realized different goals in life.

The other option you have is to get the designer wardrobe, the fancy vacations, the upscale apartment. The truth is that all the choices you make at the beginning of your career and all the ones you are making on a daily basis are creating the habits you will get used to. As I’ve heard Whitney Cummings say about snowboarding, you go in the direction that your feet are pointed. If you’re used to saving, the more you’ll save.   The more you spend, the more you’ll get used to spending. The more you do something, the more you’ll value it, the more it’ll become part of you. It’s the habits, the things you do everyday, that will make you into the person you will eventually become. And it’s only much later that you realize what you decided you valued, because that’s the person you became.

What kind of person are you becoming?
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Photo by Mado El Khouly on Unsplash